.rebellion/MISHACHAN

A little while ago my friend bought a picture from a thrift store so he could paint over it. A couple people on myspace thought this was a bad idea, but meh. I was able to mess around with the picture and his paints for a while. I haven't touched paint in... I don't even know how many years, and it was exhilarating. I've never understood why some people swear by paints and abhor the graphics tablet but now I have some sort of idea what they mean. The tangibility of the paint is almost spiritual; you have to move your entire body to paint, your whole self goes into creating the artwork. It's a bit more difficult than my tablet but boy is it rewarding.

It's COLD outside. I don't mean a nice-crisp-morning cold, or even a pleasant build-a-snowman cold. It's chattering-your-teeth aching-in-the-marrow-of-your-bones. The wind just makes it ten times worse, it cuts like razors and makes my eyes burn. But secretly I love it.

This picture was drawn from a reference, which is why it is exponentially better than my others. I don't normally draw animal portraits like this, but it was the eyes that caught me. I looked into a wolf's eyes once. I almost lost myself inside them.

Today when I went to my Biology class, a boy sat next to me who, after glancing at the syllabus, was disgusted that we were going to spend the first five weeks studying evolution. He expressed a sort of smug amusement that he'd already learned about that subject and was sick of learning about how we evolved from monkeys. I immediately recognized him as an idiot and informed him that we did not actually evolve from monkeys but that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor. He sort of laughed this off and with a smug superior look described how one teacher told him we evolved from fish in the oceans while another told him we evolved from amoebas, and another claimed it was monkeys, and none of them really had it right. He obviously knew nothing about evolution, and he was proud of it. It was a familiar scenario to me. I've heard it a million times.

It's disturbing to me how the students around here approach the subject of evolution. We go to a university to learn, as mature adults (ha!), and yet only a small minority of the people I've talked to are actually open to learning about this particular subject. Utah is, of course, predominantly Mormon, and the ratio is even more concentrated on my campus. At church, religious instructors warn students to be careful while attending class: they musn't allow themselves to get sucked in by the compelling evidence of scientists, for the only truth about anything is found within the church. I was once told in a religious class that I should attempt to get a good grade and humor the professors by pretending to believe in evolution, but in my heart I should reject the theory. And of course students obey, because these are the priesthood holders, these are the authority figures. The best way to avoid believing in evolution is of course to avoid learning about it, so we don't get tricked into thinking it makes sense. And meanwhile the academic community writhes in agony at the stupidity of it all.

The goddess stood in the sacred temple, where the people worshipped her. They offered her gifts and prayers, happy to see her smile, welcomed by her outstretched arms. Her welfare took priority above all things. The people were happy, believing she loved them, for she was their goddess. "We are hers, and she is ours," they said. Even when times grew hard, and bringing gifts for the goddess meant going hungry for a day, no one complained. Her beautiful face and open embrace proved forever that she loved them.

But in the end she was made of nothing more than ice and glass. After millenia had passed, and all the people were dead she stood still, alone and unaffected. Not one tear dropped from her cold eyes.

Believe it or not, today was the first real snow day of the season. But what a snow day! We got at least six inches, and I was able to make this nearly seven foot tall snowman! He started leaning over though, but never actually fell. He was a stubborn little guy. I'm sure the schoolkids have knocked him over by now, the little beasts.